How
Stubbornness Has Made Me A Pace Setter.
As a young
person, the best way to describe me was 'stubborn as a mule'.
Little did I
or my parents know that that stunt character was a necessary strength needed in
the school of life.
At the age
of 12 while in primary school, I enrolled myself to learn Carpentry and
Furniture making with a well-known man in our village. My parents opposed my
move. My grandfather scolded me severely, but I was adamant. Five years later I
had learnt and master Carpentry and
Furniture making so much that I was
earning money from it to sponsor my
secondary education. That was when all the people who opposed me began to
appreciate my decision. I made chairs, tables and all manner of stools in our
house. One day my father saw me roofing a house in our village. He was dazed.
The kind of
stubbornness I am talking about motivates you to stick to your goals and
advance in life.
To me,
stubbornness is another name for self-confidence, resilient and determination,
I’m stubborn; once I start something, I want to see how far I can go.
I have
discovered that I am stubborn and I know it takes a special kind of
stubbornness to succeed in life.
There was an
incident that boosted my self-confidence as occasioned by stubbornness. Some
years ago while still in the village, our people were in a war with another
local government, people were killed, houses were burnt to ashes. All young people above and below my age
and women fled to the next local
government as refugees. But I stubbornly refused to flee.
My mother
practically begged me, yet I was stunt and unyielding. When I could not be
persuaded, my father said I should be left alone. That was how I stayed back
and watched men go to and fro the war front sadly, one of our king's brothers
was killed.
I became a
Biblical David. Whenever my father went for town hall meetings to discuss
latest developments and war strategies, I would go with him. Some men would ask
my father 'who son is this'? The only weapon I had was catapult. I wanted to go
to the war front but my father would not let me.
Take this
quote from me: "When catapult
becomes the weapon of war, men are building character" - Benson Adima
After that
war my self-confidence increased as I was respected among my peers. I had
first-hand information about wars, I came to appreciate what men do in times of
war and how vulnerable women and children could be during wars.
WHEN
STUBBORNNESS GOT ME IN DEEP WATERS.
In 2007 -
2008 I was already in Lagos serving as a house help somewhere close to where I
currently reside. My curiosity took the best of me. I took the car key and
drove one of the cars that belonged to my boss' daughter and returned it
without anyone's knowledge. I did this on
two to three occasions, but one evil day I drove the Mercedes Benz belonging to
my boss' son and broke the side mirror. When it was discovered, no amount of
plea could save me. I was thrown out of the house by 2 am at night.
It was
painful and regrettable but I learnt my lessons. The story did not end there.
After that incident I told my elder (step) brother "I don't want to be a
house boy again". Those words got him angry he almost slapped me, but I
was stubborn enough to stay by my decision. At this time I was homeless,
jobless, koboless, foodless and helpless.
Before I get
emotional, here is the lesson: "stubborn
people get themselves into a lot of trouble, but they also get things
done."
When I
failed to put my stubbornness to use, I lost the love of my life. I got
entangled with this young pretty lady, prettier than all her age mates put
together, but she happened to be my relative so it is wrong for us to have a
relationship or marry each other. We immediately became the talk of the town.
My parents were against that relationship, the lady's supposed father was
vehemently against the relationship, and my friends were against it. Several meetings were held to dissuade me
from continuing in that love affair. But I and the lady, Maria were deeply in
love. Being the first love, the connection was extremely charming. But I bowed
to pressure, not because of my friends but because my mother threatened to
divorce my father because of me if I did not leave Maria alone. That was how I
quitted, yes I quitted but that decision led me into NERVOUS BREAK DOWN. I went
into semi-madness or mental agony. For two months I was going to school but I
was not learning, I put food in my month but I never eat. I lost my first love
because I was not stubborn enough to hang on.
“Many are poor today because they are
not stubborn enough to hang on to their goals. Many more are miserable because
they don't have self-confidence to say “if I die I die". I urge you my
friend, if you want your life to amount to anything significant, you must be
stubborn enough to be ready to die pursuing what you believe than to live for
Naysayers.” – Benson
Adima
Few years
ago I was teaching at a school in Ikeja Lagos, Nigeria, my salary was a token
of $26 monthly. With that amount I enrolled in computer training, I enrolled
for Daystar Leadership Academic, I wrote JAMB and borrowed money to pick a form
for University of Lagos. When I visited one of my elder brothers and told him
everything I was doing, he looked at me and said "why can't you finish one
thing before you start another? Must you do everything at the same time when
you know there is no money". His words fell on deaf ears because I had
made up my mind and I was not going to listen to him.
Few years
down the line, my stubbornness paid up, at the university I was using my
computer knowledge to do assignments faster than my colleagues, I was doing
internet research very brilliantly, and when they took us to compulsory
computer class it was easy to navigate. In
my present secular job, my computer knowledge helps me a great deal. Imagine as
a graduate from almighty Akoka, how it will look if I am given a computer to
work with and I do not know how to operate it. What would become of me?
Listen to
this, "……..Of all the skills required
for business and career progression and building wealth, personal development
is the most important."- Benson Adima
I understand
and benefitted from personal development, that is why I centre my crusade on
the need for young people to develop themselves.
If you will
ever succeed and be happy in your life, you must be ready to go against popular
opinion in most cases. Because experienced people will tell you why a thing
cannot be done, inexperienced people will fear for you, antagonists will look
forward to seeing you fail. You must have some guts to accept whatever the
outcome may be. And whatever is the outcome, never ever blame yourself. Accept
success as stepping stone and welcome failure as a blessing in disguise.
More recently
I displayed my resilient in another venture, I wanted to buy a car. One of the
men I respected so much said "if you borrow money to buy a car, how do you
pay your rent which you always borrow money to pay every year?"
Another
distance friend said "if you buy Honda Accord the problems of the car will
overwhelm you". He advised I had better save the money in the bank and go
gather more money to buy a Toyota product.
After I bought the car another person said "ah, did you purposely
go and buy Honda Accord V6?" In fact my elder brother whom we went to buy
the car together was beginning to complain: "oh we could have waited and
buy another car, this car is having a lot of things to fix" etc. I simply
told him I will fix it.
Once you
make a decision, stick to it. Never blame yourself and do not complaint. Always
be on the lookout for way forward. Because if you can think of the way forward
there will be a way forward. One of my lady friends already knows me for this,
I always tell her, "When you are in the middle of any problem, always ask
yourself 'what is the way forward?' Never you say why me, always say try me!
"
From this
paragraph, I learnt that if you want to
succeed in life you must be ready to start the way you are, where you are and
with what you have.' It simply means you
should be ready to start anyhow with God you will not end anyhow.
In summary
1. I was
ready to start as a house boy and today I am living in a mini flat in the same
community where I started as a house keeper, with an averagely good job.
2. I
borrowed money to get the form for university education, today I am a proud
graduate of one of the most coveted universities in Nigeria.
3. I was
willing to start writing my first book right on a staircase where I was living
as a house at some point of my journey, today I am an Author and one of the
most coveted Motivational speakers in Nigeria.
4. I was
slapped and thrown out of a house because I broke a car side mirror, today I
have bought my first car and in few years from now I will boldly say I started
with Honda Accord V6, but here is my garage. Someday I will have my own private
jet.
5. I started
by giving my life to Christ, today I
talk to God as friend communes with friend and I speak in tongue like no man
business and I am one of the most admired teachers of His word.
Finally, my
story has layers and is unfolding, though I started public speaking by telling
other people's story, today my story and personal life have become an
inspirational compass to many young people across the globe.
I make bold
to say to you today, that if you do not
give up on yourself, someday men will surely greet you
"Congratulations" during your convocation or coronation.
Yet, a
little stubbornness in the face of committed decision coupled with relentless tenacity
and unwavering sagacity will make you an enviable personality.
Remember, the
only person you are fighting is yourself. If you continue in your stubbornness
to engage in new endeavours, in the long run, the world will stand up in you
and for you.
Till I come
your way again, Benson Adima remains you’re in- house Motivational Speaker
& Author.
