This is the first time I’m going to be talking
about this deadly and the most dangerous diseases in human crave for success. Endorse
in it slightly and you might as well forget the future because is going to
forget you. Complaining, crying, whining, gripping, and grumbling a Bible word
called MURMURING and what I would
hashtag in modern English as Unfiltered
Rumination on Negative Experiences, somebody called it the Corrupter of Israel, even if you brand it Success Parasite you will not be far from being right. Spend five minutes complaining and you have
wasted five years. And you may began
what is known as Economic Cancer of the
Bone. Surely they will soon hurt you up in your financial desert and it
will let you shock in the dust of your own regret.
Grumbling and complaining is one thing we don’t get
too concerned about these days. I mean everybody grumbles about something,
right? Husbands and wives complain about each other. Kids tell each other how
terrible their folks are. Christians grumble about one another – even about
their leaders! In Africa one of the things we complain about most is our government
and in Nigeria my Mother land, one out every family complain about government and
the leadership every day. If you don’t think is bad, ask the Children of Israel
in the Old Testament, They had a long history of grumbling and complaining and
the resulting consequence was FATAL. You can read about the misery it brought
them in the first five books of the Old Testament. E.g. “So, all the congregation lifted up
their voices and cried, and the people wept that night. And all the children of
Israel complained against Moses and Aaron, and the whole congregation said to
them, 'If only we had died in the land of Egypt! Or if only we had died in this
wilderness! Why has the Lord brought us to this land to fall by the sword, that
our wives and children should become victims? Would it not be better for us to
return to Egypt?" Numbers 14:1-3.
You remember the story?
The good news is that children of Israel, the former slaves were heading to the
Promised Land. The bad news is that they never got there. Reason, from day one
they started to complain: They gripe about the waters, they unfilterly rumination on the
negative weather. They whine, cry and gripe about the food. They
murmur against the leadership. They gripe and whine because it was too far, too
cold, too hard, too difficult, and too miserable, I mean they whine and cry for
years. And God said I have had, trip cancelled or something like that. The
story says they died in the desert and never got to the Promised Land. Which I
think means two things:
1. Endorse
in complaining long enough and you get your future cancelled or effected with cancer
2. Even
God himself can only take so much. Listen to this, “God abandons only those who
abandon themselves, and whoever has the courage to shut up his sorrow within
his own heart is stronger to fight against it than he who complains.” - George Sand
Research shows that most people complain, murmur
and whine once a minute during a typical conversation. Complaining is tempting
because it feels good, but like many other things that are enjoyable-such as
smoking or eating a good breakfast-complaining isn’t good for you. Your brain
loves efficiency and doesn’t like to work any harder than it has to. So, when
you repeat a behaviour, such as complaining, murmuring and grumbling your
neurons branch out to each other to ease the flow of information. This makes it
much easier to repeat that behaviour in the future-so easy, in fact, that you
might not even realize you’re doing it.
Listen to this, not only is the
complaining dangerous to your physical health, also Research from Stanford
University has shown that complaining shrinks the hippocampus-an area of the
brain that’s critical to problem solving and intelligent thought. Damage to the
hippocampus is scary, especially when you consider that it’s one of the primary
brain areas destroyed by Alzheimer’s. Before
you check your dictionary ‘Alzheimer’ is a degenerative brain disease of unknown cause that result in
the gradual loss of memory, speech, movement etc.
More also, it’s not just you... Since human beings are
inherently social, our brains naturally and unconsciously mimic the moods of
those around us, particularly people we spend a great deal of time with. This
process is called neuronal mirroring, and it’s the basis for our
ability to feel empathy. The flip side, however, is that it makes complaining a
lot like smoking-you don’t have to do it yourself to suffer the ill effects.
You need to be cautious about spending time with people who complain about
everything. Complainers want people to join their pity party so that they can
feel better about themselves. Think of it this way: If a person were smoking,
would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? You’d
distance yourself, and you should do the same with complainers. A focus on
not complaining would create a happier and more positive environment. This
leads to everyone being a bit more fulfilled with every day of their lives, not
needing to or being tempted to engage in negative discussion around any given
topic.
The
Solution to Complaining/Murmuring (Economic Cancer of the Bone)
There are two things you can do
when you feel the need to complain:
One is to
cultivate an attitude of gratitude. That is, when you feel like complaining,
shift your attention to something that you’re grateful for. Taking time to
contemplate what you’re grateful for isn’t merely the right thing to do; it
reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23%. Study conducted at the University
of California, Davis, found that people who worked daily to cultivate an
attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood and energy and substantially
less anxiety due to lower cortisol levels. Any time you experience negative or
pessimistic thoughts, use this as a cue to shift gears and to think about something
positive. With time, a positive attitude will become a way of life.
The second thing
you can do-and only when you have something that is truly worth complaining
about-to engage in solution-oriented
complaining (Panacea). Think of it as complaining with a purpose.
Solution-oriented complaining should do the following:
·
Have
a clear purpose. Before
complaining, know what outcome you’re looking for. If you can’t identify a
purpose, there’s a good chance you just want to complain for its own sake, and
that’s the kind of complaining you should nip in the bud.
·
Start
with something positive. It may seem counter intuitive to start a complaint with a compliment,
but starting with a positive helps keep the other person from getting
defensive. For example, before launching into a complaint about poor customer
service, you could say something like, “I’ve been a customer for a very long
time and have always been thrilled with your service...”
·
Be
specific. When
you’re complaining it’s not a good time to dredge up every minor annoyance from
the past 20 years. Just address the current situation and be as specific as
possible. Instead of saying, “Your employee was rude to me,” describe
specifically what the employee did that seemed rude.
·
End
on a positive. If
you end your complaint with, “I’m never shopping here again,” the person who’s
listening has no motivation to act on your complaint. In that case, you’re just
venting, or complaining with no purpose other than to complain. Instead,
restate your purpose, as well as your hope that the desired result can be
achieved, for example, “I’d like to work this out so that we can keep our
business relationship intact.”
Bringing
It All Together, I mean in Conclusion, Just like
smoking, drinking too much, and lying on the couch watching TV all day,
complaining is bad for you. Put my advice to use, and you'll reap the physical,
mental, and performance benefits that come with a positive frame of mind. If
you took one-tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to
solving the problem, you'd be surprised by how well things can work out...
Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy.
Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it
won't make us happier. Therefore don’t complain, work harder
Love You
